Its Over So Get Over It by Janesdiary - Janesdiary
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Its Over So Get Over It by Janesdiary

 Pattern Dating

Some women seem to be drawn to all the wrong men when it comes to dating and relationships. They can’t seem to help themselves, and this is pretty sad because until they break their negative patterns in dating, they’ll never have a truly successful relationship. Instead, they’ll continue to date one wrong man after another. 

So what do you do about that if you happen to fall into this category? First of all, you must identify the types of guys that you’ve been falling victim to and figure out why they’re all so wrong for you. For instance, if you’re drawn to the bad boy type, it may be due to a part of you that loves to rebel against things. You may also subconsciously want to be mistreated in some way. There may also be a part of you that wants to “help” or “change” these guys into loving and respectful men. While that’s very sweet of you, there’s something that you should be aware of. That something is that these guys are never going to change and see things your way. They like being the way they are and will not change for anyone. Therefore, the person that needs to change is you. 

If you find the negative pattern of dating that you seem to keep following, you can start changing it into something useful and a way to find happiness. Another negative dating pattern that many women cave into is that of using sex to find their Prince Charming. These women don’t just kiss on a first date; they have sex on a first date. In fact, for a lot of them, they don’t even need to be on a date. They just allow themselves to be picked up at bars and taken to the back seats of cars or alleys. For some reason, they seem to feel that by having sex with a guy, any guy, that they’ll find true love. Sadly, but not unsurprisingly, this really doesn’t happen. What does tend to happen are unwanted pregnancies and STDs. 

Its Over So Get Over It by Janesdiary

To start breaking through your negative dating pattern, no matter what it is, then the first thing you need to do is figure out why the kind of guy you’re attracted to  always turn out to be bad news for you. When you’re able to get that part settled in your head, then you can set about figuring out the type of men that will be good for you. Look closely at what you need from a partner long term. Then start trying to meet men that fit the criteria. 

Even if you have to force yourself, stay away from those former guys that have always been so bad for you. Understand that if you’re ever going to be happy, you must extricate yourself from the negative dating patterns that you’ve enmeshed yourself in, no matter what they may be. It’s not impossible to get it all worked out. If you can’t do it on your own, then you may want to get some professional help with it in the form of a counselor. 

Recognizing An Abusive Relationship
In spite of what many women may believe, abuse of any kind in a relationship isn’t acceptable. It’s NOT normal and doesn’t mean love. If you’re in a relationship where your partner goes off on tangents because you’ve set the dinner table incorrectly, he’s probably abusive. There are some things that you need to understand about what constitutes abuse and what doesn’t.
For one thing, you should let your feelings guide you in certain instances. If you’re afraid all the time and you walk on eggshells around your partner for fear of setting him off, you’re probably in an abusive relationship. No one should ever have to live that way and certainly not with someone that’s supposed to love them. On the other hand, if your feelings are telling you that you’re a horrible wife or girlfriend and you DESERVE the various punishments that come your way for imagined wrongs, then you DON’T need to listen to yourself. You need to seek some help for those feelings of worthlessness. 
Abuse comes in many forms and it’s important to recognize them. Obviously, if your partner is hitting you, it’s abuse. However, sometimes it’s not quite cut and dried. Mental and verbal abuse can be just as serious. The scars may not be physically visible but they’re in places that can affect you throughout your entire life. For example, being told over and over again how worthless you are and how you can’t do anything right may not SEEM like a huge deal until you realize that you’re starting to believe this about yourself. Other men will do everything they can to convince their partners that if they leave, the worse things they ever feared would happen to them will, indeed, come to pass. Yes, these abusers don’t leave physical marks, but they ARE just as dangerous to the quality of your life as the ones that lash out with their fists or weapons. 
Men that abuse the women they proclaim to love are, simply put, monsters. They’re weak, petty, insecure, cowardly little creatures that feel the only way they can keep a woman with them is through a show of force. If they can control every move these women make, then they’ll never be alone because the women are too terrified to leave.  Now, isn’t that a wonderful way to conduct a relationship? These men truly believe that they can FORCE women into loving them. Well, fear and love aren’t the same. 
There are a few ground rules that you should remember in order to keep yourself out of abusive relationships. First, NO ONE has the right to beat you into submission. You should never feel afraid of the one who is supposed love you, and if you are, it’s time to leave and figure out why. An abusive relationship is NOT better than being alone. If you’re alone, you’ve got a better chance of leading a quality life, whereas, with an abuser, you’ll never have that. 
Just remember that abuse is NOT love and that it never will be. Abuse is about control, power, and cruelty. It’s also about danger. Be brave and get out if you’re in a relationship like this. There ARE people that will help and protect you while you build a new life. 
Its Over So Get Over It
So you are sitting in a dark room with a tub of ice cream in your lap and tissues piled up next to you on the bed because you found out he was talking to his ex on Facebook. That is something that happens to a lot of people these days, especially when you consider how popular social sites have become. But that doesn’t mean you have to let it take you into a pit of despair. Sure, it’s going to hurt for a bit but you will eventually get over him and move on with your life like it never happened.
Moving on from a relationship is a hard thing to do most of the time. Even when your partner has done something so completely stupid that you have no issues walking out the door, the days that follow will be filled with sleepless nights and all the good memories that the two of you shared together. Guys and gals alike will go through things like this at the end of a relationship no matter what happe
ned to cause it to end. The bad thing is that there is no one set way of making things return to normal.
Some people may think going out to parties and drinking a lot will help them move on with their lives. For some of them, it might help, but everyone knows that when you start drinking to forget something like a relationship, you end up doing something even more stupid than you did to end it all. The fact is you will try to get even with that person by sleeping with someone you never would have slept with if you were sober, and that is not the way to go about things.
You have to look at the end of your relationship much like a death in the family; you have to give yourself the time you need to mourn and grieve for what has been lost before you can find the willpower to recover from it. If you allow yourself to slowly come to the realization that what you had is gone and in the past, then you can move forward and find a new path that you can walk down. Hopefully, this time it will be with someone that ends up being a lot better than the idiot you just caught talking to his ex on Facebook.
Now that may not seem like a very constructive way of handling things to most people, but the truth is everyone handles things like this differently. The one thing you don’t want to do is go out and do something stupid that you are going to regret later on. You can go out with your friends and have some fun, but don’t get so drunk that you can’t remember which members of the football team you went home with. That is counterproductive and can end up causing even more problems in your life than just sitting at home eating ice cream with a close friend and thinking about how you are going to get through all of this.

About Post Author

Janesdiary

I am a highly sought-after personal and business branding coach, marriage and Relationship therapist, a blogger and an entrepreneur. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work with some of Africa's most successful entrepreneurs. My success is as a result of my unrelenting passion for excellence in all that I do. My mission is to help people attain their desired goals by teaching them how to be more confident, better communicators and better decision makers. [email protected]
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By Janesdiary

I am a highly sought-after personal and business branding coach, marriage and Relationship therapist, a blogger and an entrepreneur. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work with some of Africa's most successful entrepreneurs. My success is as a result of my unrelenting passion for excellence in all that I do. My mission is to help people attain their desired goals by teaching them how to be more confident, better communicators and better decision makers. [email protected]

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